Wanting Someone Is Not A Good Enough Reason For Them To Want You Back
You are valuable and important to someone on this planet. You deserve to have the best that life and relationships have to offer. However, you should know that not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone.
Wanting to be with someone isn’t a good enough reason for them to want you back. Part of why you need to know this is because if they don’t want to be with you as much as you want to be with them, they are telling on themselves. What they’re telling on themselves is how little they value you, understand you or recognize your power, wisdom, and lovingness.
If they inform you – whether directly or indirectly, that they aren’t interested in being with you, they are actually doing you a favor. They’re letting you know that if you somehow got them to be with you, they’ll eventually break your heart by leaving you because you believed in them more than you should have but won’t find out until it’s too late.
With over 8 billion people on this planet, you only need one person to be happy in a relationship for the rest of your life. Don’t drive yourself crazy with unreasonable expectations or let your emotions blind you from reality. Chemistry is great but it’s nowhere near as valuable or important as the quality of a person’s character and the principles they live their life by.
The biggest problem with this issue is not knowing how to qualify potential relationship partners effectively. Here are some of the things that everyone needs to know in order to prevent that from happening:
· Recognize The Type Of Relationship The Person You Want To Be With Wants To Be In
· Being Overly Optimistic Rather Than Realistic
· Avoid Being Clingy and/or Needy
Recognize The Type Of Relationship The Person You Want To Be With Wants To Be In:
Most relationships end for different reasons than most people think: they think it’s either poor communication, money issues, or infidelity. That’s completely understandable but that’s not accurate. What ends most relationships is when the people in it are living 2 separate lives. What that looks like is one of them loves working and trying to build an empire while the other person wants to either stay at home and raise a family, volunteer in order to make a difference with people, or go on adventures all the time. Eventually, they end up being merely friends with benefits. That kills relationships either slowly or quickly but it kills them nevertheless.
If the person you want to be with wants to live a different type of life than you do, the sooner you get that news, the better that news will be for you because you won’t have to drive yourself crazy trying to make something work that never really can or will. It’ll be like getting upset for trying to chop up a steak with a spoon instead of a knife. Spoons aren’t designed to do that. Neither are relationships.
Being Overly Optimistic Rather Than Realistic:
If you see great potential in someone, I’m happy for you. However, unless you know how to help them fulfill their potential, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak. This is because there are only 3 ways of dealing with this issue that can and/or will make you happy:
Choice #1: You know how to help them make it happen. For example, if you are interested in being with someone who’s a musician or actor but you aren’t a coach or agent, you can’t help them fulfill it. If you are, you can. They just need to agree with you and accept your contributions to them. If not, the relationship isn’t going to work.
Choice #2: If don’t know how to make this happen, you just need to love them regardless of whether they ever fulfill their potential, as if they don’t even have any potential. Accept them the way they are and the way they aren’t fully. If you can’t do this, go to Choice #3.
Choice #3: If neither of those choices works for you, you should leave them asap because if not, in 3 to 5 years you’ll still be upset or disappointed that they still haven’t fulfilled their potential and they didn’t fulfill your belief in them.
Avoid Being Clingy and/or Needy:
Being Clingy and/or Needy is a demonstration of a lack of self-esteem and self-worth. Both men and women find that confidence is one of the most attractive qualities they want in choosing a relationship partner, even if they don’t realize it.
The reason this is so important is because when someone wants to be with another person more than the other person does, the other person will view them as needy and even clingy, which is the same as lacking self-esteem and self-worth. It looks and feels extremely ugly and uncomfortable. It’s also subliminally controlling, like a child who wants something from their parents and doesn’t like that their parents didn’t give it to them.
The other reason why this doesn’t work is because no one can make you happy. That’s your job. If you expect others to make you happy, you’re overburdening them with your neediness and demands for happiness. This is because the best relationships are when 2 people know themselves fully, know the other person knows themself fully, and they share their happiness with each other rather than try and make or force the other person to make them happy.
Hopefully, this article has helped you understand how to improve your ability to effectively choose the right relationship partner for you.
Also, let this article help you identify, live from and maintain your highest standards, values, and principles so you can both maintain your self-esteem and be able to recognize the standards, values, and principles of the person you’re interested in being with.
You deserve the best that life and relationships have to offer. Don’t let anyone or anything get in the way of your self-worth, self-esteem, or heart’s desire.