The Power Of Knowing Yourself Fully
Not Knowing Who You Are Destroys Relationships
Do you know yourself completely? Do you make decisions you’re almost always happy with?
Do you feel fulfilled with your life and the direction it’s going in? If so, that’s a beautiful thing. If not, this article is for you.
It’s critically important that you know yourself fully. If you don’t, how will you know for sure that you’ll be happy about the decisions you make, the things you do, the relationships you get into, or the actions you take?
So many people get into relationships, jobs and what they think are opportunities that later on, they regret even bothering to try to make happen in the first place. For example, have you ever been in a relationship with someone because you had high hopes that it would work, only to find that the person you wanted to be with was horrible, painful, or simply unqualified to be with you?
That can only happen when someone doesn’t know themselves completely.
In this day and age, it’s critically important that we know ourselves: our goals, our character and values, levels and areas of expertise, and everything else about ourselves. Even though we live in an age of information overload, we’d still be better off knowing ourselves as much and as deeply as possible.
One of the biggest barriers to knowing who we are completely is that everyone remembers their life history, which makes them believe that they know who they really are. Everyone remembers what it was like to be in elementary school, on a first date, and when they became parents or grandparents. However, those things are only memories. They don’t give you access to knowing yourself. They don’t tell you who you are. They only give you memories.
When people don’t know who they are, they don’t know the importance of knowing who they are. Because of this, they can’t see the impact of not knowing who they are. It’s hard to do something for a person who doesn’t even know that they don’t know something. Not knowing that you don’t know you don’t know something is called having a Blind Spot.
For example, there’s a story about a man who lost his car keys one night. He’s intensely looking around his car for them because his house keys are with them and he can’t get into his house without them. A few minutes later, one of his neighbors drives by while looking for parking and sees the man looking around his car. After the man’s neighbor parks his car, he goes over to the guy looking for his keys and asks him what’s he doing. The man says, “I’m looking for my car keys.” The neighbor says, “Ok. I’ll help you.” They both look around the car but after 10 minutes, the neighbor asks the guy, “We should’ve found your keys by now. Where did you lose your keys at?” The other guy says, “By my front door.” His neighbor says, “Then why are we looking for them over here?” The guy says, “Because there’s no light over there. I can’t see.”
That’s exactly what it looks like from the outside to see someone who doesn’t know who they are and doesn’t know that they don’t know who they are. He was blind and he was blind to his own blindness.
Sometimes, people don’t realize that they hurt themselves directly because of this. Sometimes, they hurt others and can do so in many different ways. I’m sure you’ve seen people treat you or others in ways they would never want anyone to treat them. For example, blaming others when things don’t work and taking credit for things when they do, not paying attention to what the people around them like and don’t like – things like that. Those things are almost never done on purpose. They are Blind Spots that people don’t even know they’re operating from. You know this is because if or when you bring up the issue, they are authentically shocked by what you said to them and/or about them. Shocked as in the fact that what you said to them was unthinkable to them.
There’s a quote from one of my favorite authors, Neale Donald Walsch, the author of the Conversations with God book series. The quote is “Nobody Does Anything Wrong, Given Their Model Of The World.” This means human beings are wired to only do what they think is in their best interests, under any conditions, and at all times no matter what. Because of this, people do things that can be beautiful, messed up, legendary, or horrible depending on their model of the world. What gives them their Model of the World is how much they know or don’t know themselves. For example, when it comes to Romantic Relationships, this is one of the main reasons why people have a hard time making relationships work. This is because there are only 2 types of relationships:
· 2 People Who Know Who They Are & Share Their Happiness With Each Other
· 2 People Who Don’t Know Who They Are & Depend On Their Partner To Make Them Happy
People who know who they are can see whether other people know who they are or not and they will only want to be around people who know who they are as well. They can see the problems that can or will come down the pike and they are never going to burden themselves or let someone else burden them with that crap. They don’t need anyone else to make them happy, so they go about their life making themselves happy and fulfilled.
People who don’t know who they are don’t know that they don’t know this. However, they expect other people to make them happy, which is an insanely difficult burden on themselves, the people around them, and especially with the person whom they’re in a romantic relationship with.
What follows are some valuable clues to look for when it comes to identifying whether you or anyone around you knows who they really are or not. Make sure you keep these clues handy so you can protect yourself from unnecessary discomfort now and in the future. Here are some of the ways people who don’t know who they are live their life:
o They Focus On Survival, Safety, and/or Security
o Are Easily Triggered, Upset & Angry
o Operate From A Scarcity Mindset
o Are Resigned & Cynical
o May Be Paranoid Or Egotistical
o Can Be Mentally and/or Physically Lazy
o Feel Entitled and/or Want To Be Spoiled
o Could Be Desperate & Without Standards Or Principles
o Hungry Or Desperate To Be Accepted and/or Approved Of
o Focuses On Staying Out Of Trouble Much More Than Necessary
And so much more.
Anyone who doesn’t know who they are creates such negative life experiences, results, and self-esteem issues for themselves that they’re too focused on survival to be themselves and live a fulfilled life.
Here Are The 10 Indicators That Someone Knows Who They Are Completely:
I. They Are Happy With Who They Are
II. They Rarely Change Their Mind Once They Make A Decision
III. They Make Few Mistakes In The Choices They Make About Themselves & Their Life
IV. They Can See Through Other People Often
V. They Don’t Stay Around People Who Don’t Know Who They Are Fully
VI. They Can Tell Who’s Mature Or Immature & Cannot Stay Around Immature People Unless They Are Contributing To Them In Some Way
VII. They Feel Clear About The Direction Their Life Is Going In Even If They Aren’t Happy With Their Results Because The Results Don’t Discourage Them From Their Life Direction
VIII. They Aren’t Easily Swayed By Other People’s Opinions Even Though They Are Fully Willing To Allow Others To Have The Opinions They Have
IX. They Can See That You Know Who You Are & Will Be Attracted To You Because Of It Even If It’s Not About Romantic Relationships
X. They Can Only Be Happy In A Romantic Relationship With Someone Else Who Knows Who They Really Are – If Not, They’ll Feel Icky & Uncomfortable Around Them
It’s important that you’re aware of these things and even more important, that you internalize them because, on planet Earth, Humans learn and grow from attending The School Of Hard Knocks. In the School Of Hard Knocks, Growth In Life Is Mandatory. However, Speed Of Growth Is Optional. That means you can be in a particular class for a week or 50 years but you ain’t leaving until you pass the Final Exam. Not passing a School Of Hard Knocks class is going to drive you insane because you’ll have to keep taking the class over and over again and you’ll probably hate having to do that.
Again, Growth Is Mandatory But Speed Is Optional.
Give Yourself Permission To Grow, Evolve & Know Yourself Fully, Then Go Do It