How To See Through People So You Can Choose The Right Person To Be With In A Relationship
Every person has priorities around their life that they may or may not let anyone else know about. This is particularly true when it comes to dating and romantic relationships. However, recognizing or understanding this is not as challenging as most people think.
When you learn and internalize the information written in this article, you’ll be so much more effective, skillful, and successful at qualifying potential relationship partners, you’ll experience a new state of Peace, Groundedness, and Fulfillment.
Those states of Peace, Groundedness, and Fulfillment will support you in seeing and facing reality when it comes to dealing with potential relationship partners. This is because they will help prevent you from fooling yourself into chasing someone’s potential rather than their reality. This is because you’ll be awake enough to recognize their reality and where they really are around relationships.
The following list of Life Areas is something you need to know, understand and be able to recognize because when you do, you’ll be able to see through people. In addition, this list will help you improve yourself and your life because you’ll recognize areas you may want or need to improve if you haven’t thought of it before now.
Here's the list:
Being Themselves
General Relationships
Family
Emotional Reactions
Job & Career
Money & Finances
Romantic Relationships
The reason Romantic Relationships are last on this list is because if the other Life Areas don’t align with what’s important to you or the person you choose to be with, the Romantic Relationship won’t last and you won’t be happy about it.
Here’s a brief description of each Area:
Being Themselves:
Many people pretend to be comfortable Being Themselves but often hide behind a mask to cover up their judgments about themselves and their life. Also, some act like they like themselves but secretly don’t. Then, there are the over-the-top characters who turn out to be Con Artists, Players, Gold Diggers, or many other toxic personalities. Look for people who are real. Don’t settle. You won’t be happy about that if you do.
General Relationships:
How do these people act toward strangers, people in their Social Circles, on Social Media, or at work? Do they treat everyone the same for the most part or do they act nice around you but as soon as someone comes into their space, they get cranky and miserable at the slightest upset or mistake?
If they do that, they will eventually treat you the same way. Listen to their opinions of other people so you can let them tell on themselves and you can consciously choose to be with them or not based on what they do and how they act in those spaces. Actions speak louder than words so let their actions tell you who they really are and don’t let chemistry blind you to this.
Family:
People often treat family differently from all other people in life but if someone has poor relationships with or within their family, there may be something you need to know. You need to get them to tell on themselves whether directly or indirectly as soon as possible. Poor family relationships aren’t a guarantee the person you’re with is not a good match for you but you should pay close attention to them and listen in on this area of their life. It may be the family’s culture rather than anything specific about the person you’re with so do a complete job of investigating this. This way, you don’t make the mistake of getting into a relationship that isn’t going to work.
Emotional Reactions:
This is one of the most essential areas in any relationship. When people get triggered, they become unconscious and do things they’ll regret later but it’s too late to be able to fix it. Find someone who knows how to control their temper, disappointments, and anything else that can trigger them because if you don’t, you can expect to have reliable arguments, breakdowns, and/or any other upsets on a regular basis. In addition, it would benefit you to learn how to control what triggers you too because that would make you unintentionally push potential relationship partners away as well. Remember this always: Feelings Are Terrific Servants, But Terrible Masters.
Job & Career:
People have different mindsets around jobs and careers. They could be Entrepreneurs, Licensed Experts, or just front-line workers trying to put food on their table. Their priorities in this area will affect how they deal with you because they won’t be able to stop thinking about it if they aren’t happy about their job or career and it’ll get all up in your relationship if you choose to be with them when they have this problem. Also, it could be a time management issue because they don’t have time for the relationship or they have too much time, which could be too much for you. Most people don’t see this in the beginning of relationships but it can help end relationships when the reality shows up and there are no plans or strategies to alter anything about it. Be careful in this life area.
Money & Finances:
Money is so emotional, most people have no idea how much it can get in the way of a relationship. From how much each person has or makes, to their attitude about money, meaning whether they are stingy, desperate, irresponsible, overly emotional or so many other triggers that money alone can kill a relationship in an eye blink. Pay attention to how the person you’re interested in thinks, feels, and relates to money or you’ll get your feelings hurt and end up alone again before you know it. Also, don’t forget to check yourself out in this and all the other life areas stated so you know how to take care of yourself well in a relationship.
Romantic Relationships:
Last but not least is the romantic relationships area. People have different views, desires, and interpretations about relationships. Whether they want a serious relationship, don’t really trust people or relationships, likes to “play around” or are overly desperate and clingy to be in a relationship for anyone to want to spend time with them, pay attention to how potential relationship partners feel about, think about and experienced relationships in their past because recognizing and understanding this about them will help you figure them out when they don’t even know you’re doing that.
In closing, let this information help you both understand others and help yourself grow around love and relationships. There is no downside to working with this information because it’s all about making relationships work and making yourself happy.